Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?
- Downloads：1015
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-03-31 02:31:19
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Kim Holderness
- ISBN：0785235728
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
Reviews
Angi
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Thank you Kim and Penn for sharing your marriage journey！ They share scenarios of their marriage when it wasn't perfect and explain how they grew as a couple and came out stronger。 I am definitely going to go back and read again， but this time I will ask my husband to read with me。 I cannot wait for it to make our already wonderful marriage even better。 ❤ Thank you Kim and Penn for sharing your marriage journey！ They share scenarios of their marriage when it wasn't perfect and explain how they grew as a couple and came out stronger。 I am definitely going to go back and read again， but this time I will ask my husband to read with me。 I cannot wait for it to make our already wonderful marriage even better。 ❤ 。。。more
Kristi Davis
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My favorite couple to watch on Facebook， ever！ If you don't know who the Holderness family is， we clearly aren't friends。 But if you are reading this， hopefully you have seen their hilarious videos！ At the very least， I knew I had to order this book to simply support them for keeping me entertained for the last five years。 On the huge plus side， I loved their book。 Each chapter was about a particular fight they had， what went wrong， what went right， how to make it better， etc。 I loved getting th My favorite couple to watch on Facebook， ever！ If you don't know who the Holderness family is， we clearly aren't friends。 But if you are reading this， hopefully you have seen their hilarious videos！ At the very least， I knew I had to order this book to simply support them for keeping me entertained for the last five years。 On the huge plus side， I loved their book。 Each chapter was about a particular fight they had， what went wrong， what went right， how to make it better， etc。 I loved getting that intimate （oh yea， it went there too！） peek into their lives。 The chapter on secrete contracts was awesome。 I definitely recommend this book。 They are great writers， a great family， and it was a great book！ 。。。more
Karen Reeder
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“Everybody Fights – So Why Not Get Better At It” was such a great read！ I have three other books on marriage and I haven’t finished any of them。 It wasn’t that they didn’t have good advice for my marriage， it was that they weren’t written in such a way to hold my attention。 This was not the case with Everybody Fights。 The Holderness are so much fun to watch on their parodies and their podcast is great to listen to because it feels like you are right there having a conversation with them。 That is “Everybody Fights – So Why Not Get Better At It” was such a great read！ I have three other books on marriage and I haven’t finished any of them。 It wasn’t that they didn’t have good advice for my marriage， it was that they weren’t written in such a way to hold my attention。 This was not the case with Everybody Fights。 The Holderness are so much fun to watch on their parodies and their podcast is great to listen to because it feels like you are right there having a conversation with them。 That is how their book is to read。 They are so engaging that you feel like you are just sitting down talking about how to improve your marriage。 Due to a busy schedule， most of my reading these days is done by listening to audiobooks and I ordered the audible， which I am so excited to listen to as well， because like I said， I love their podcast。 So I usually listen to books， but I had the chance to join their launch team and read the advanced copy ebook before it came out。 And I was able to make time to read it because it is so easy to consume。 The chapters are each broken down into little sections that make it easy to read just short pieces at a time。 By reading all of these little enjoyable sections I was able to breeze through it。 They share lots of stories that are so easy to relate to， which gave me opportunities to think about my own marriage。 Kim and Penn give lots of great doable advice， a lot of which they got from their own marriage counselor， helping them through their own fights。 People may prefer a book written by some professional。 Not me， give me the real people who are ready to share their real fights to help me find real improvement。 And though they don’t have some kind of official title， they do share tidbits from lots of “experts，” like their counselor and friend Christopher。 Love the book and highly recommend it！ 。。。more
Melissa （LifeFullyBooked）
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Penn and Kim Holderness have made a name for themselves with song parody videos， but this book is an entertaining and informative look at communication--particularly within a marriage relationship and with a focus on arguments。They are not experts， they've just been married for many years and have experienced their share of communication breakdowns。 They enlisted their own therapist/marriage coach Dr。 Christopher Edmonston， to help them help others。I've been married for almost 25 years， so many Penn and Kim Holderness have made a name for themselves with song parody videos， but this book is an entertaining and informative look at communication--particularly within a marriage relationship and with a focus on arguments。They are not experts， they've just been married for many years and have experienced their share of communication breakdowns。 They enlisted their own therapist/marriage coach Dr。 Christopher Edmonston， to help them help others。I've been married for almost 25 years， so many of the anecdotes they relate are quite familiar to me， but I also gained some interesting insights into what my spouse might be thinking when we do fight。 There isn't much groundbreaking or new information here， but it is refreshing to see that a couple who live their lives on video in the eyes of most of us are actually human and have their own problems。 I think this would be a great book to purchase for an engaged couple or newlyweds to help them see that marriage takes work and that learning to communicate effectively is a strong key to marriage survival for the long haul。 I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book， all opinions are my own。 。。。more
Cara BookShelfMomma
，
I really did enjoy the audiobook version of this book and want a physical copy。 I think it would be helpful for me to have both as there are parts where they encourage you to jot notes for you to think about or activities for the couple to do。 The audiobook version played more like a podcast and I think that keeps the tone more upbeat and it moves quickly。 There are many personal stories that the reader can relate to。 Some of my favorite chapters and or take always were the “secret contracts” an I really did enjoy the audiobook version of this book and want a physical copy。 I think it would be helpful for me to have both as there are parts where they encourage you to jot notes for you to think about or activities for the couple to do。 The audiobook version played more like a podcast and I think that keeps the tone more upbeat and it moves quickly。 There are many personal stories that the reader can relate to。 Some of my favorite chapters and or take always were the “secret contracts” and “don’t leave the airport”。 These are two aspects I struggle with so they gave me great practical advice。 The Holderness family does not claim to be experts on relationships or communication in this book。 They take the lessons they have learned over the years and pass them along to the reader。 I appreciated it， I found value where I needed to。 I will say that there is some Christian marketing to this book and there is absolutely nothing Christian about the book。 There are a few cuss words and no scripture to be found。 Not this this book is bad at all， just wanting to make sure people are aware。 Overall I really enjoyed this book 4。5/5 stars。 。。。more
Brittany
，
The YouTube sensation who graced the world with Christmas Jammies back in 2013 has now written a book on marriage。 This book was inspired （at least partly） by people commenting on their viral song parody videos saying things like ‘#couplegoals’ and ‘What a perfect couple！’Turns out， we aren’t the only ones that present our best on the internet！ Penn and Kim Holderness decided they would be vulnerable and use their platform to confirm what we （should） already know—no one is perfect， and they， lik The YouTube sensation who graced the world with Christmas Jammies back in 2013 has now written a book on marriage。 This book was inspired （at least partly） by people commenting on their viral song parody videos saying things like ‘#couplegoals’ and ‘What a perfect couple！’Turns out， we aren’t the only ones that present our best on the internet！ Penn and Kim Holderness decided they would be vulnerable and use their platform to confirm what we （should） already know—no one is perfect， and they， like us， have to work hard at their marriage。 Indeed。 Everybody fights。 But we can have what they would call “productive” fights。 There may not be an ultimate “right” way to fight。 But there is a “better” way to fight。 A way that could help your marriage thrive。 Why do we care？ Well。“This is marriage we’re talking about， our most sustained and sustaining relationship with a person who we promised to love and support as long as we both shall live。 Shouldn’t we look at the 55% divorce rate and say， ‘Forget pride—what do I need to do to take care of this thing？’” If you， like me， have read several marriage books， there might not be a ton of new information here- not reinventing the wheel is a thing right？ So yes， you will hear about communication。 You will hear that we can’t expect our partners to read our minds。 You will hear that we need to be better listeners。 You will hear to ask clarifying questions， say thank you， and treat your spouse like a stranger。But what I think sets this book apart is two-fold: how it is formatted and its conversational tone。 It is structured around ten of their biggest ‘fights’。 Penn and Kim each weigh in， setting the scene and giving us their side of the story。 If you’re married and haven’t had one of these fights， I would be shocked。 Here’s a sampling:- Can You Please Just Say Something？ Anything？- I Do Everything and You Do Nothing- I’m Struggling with Snuggling- Are You Even Listening to Me？- Why Are You Being So Snippy？- It’s Like I Can’t Do Anything Right AnymoreThey worked through these fights with their pastor， gained some helpful tools and strategies they’ve personally “battle-tested” the last five years of their marriage and are sharing them with us now。If you’ve seen any of their videos， they are a little over-the-top but still entertaining。 This book is somewhat similar。 You definitely hear their personalities come through。 It’s informal and funny。 And 99% relatable。 （I’m not a Snoop Dogg fan…）What qualifies them to give us marriage tips？ Well… not a lot。 Except that they’ve been fighting a lot and have gotten better at by using these methods。 And they fight a lot because ever since Christmas Jammies， they spend almost all of their waking hours together making and planning their videos。 （Plus a solid year of Covid quarantine）“We talk to one another easily seven hours a day。 Six of those hours are debates about what rhymes best with ‘booty’ or how to get a camera angle that doesn’t take Penn’s chin from a double to a triple… but disagreements are inevitable when you spend that much time with someone， and if we had a knock-down， drag-out fight every time we saw things differently， we would never accomplish anything。”So they clarify that this book is not for people struggling with serious marriage issues that may involve addiction， mental or chronic illness， or serious trust issues。 They do not claim to have the answers for everything。 But this is a book intended to provide a little boost to help improve our marriages。 And I think this definitely accomplishes that。 I won’t rehash all of their strategies here because without the context of the particular fight， it’s not as effective to understand how to employ them。 That’s the point of reading the entire book and not just my stellar review。 But here are some snippets that I found relevant and relatable:“It’s not what you said。 It’s how you said it。”（ugh。 this is definitely me）"You see what happened there， right？ You started with one fight and then escalated into every fight you’ve ever had or thought about having”（you know how sometimes you ruminate on your feelings and you remember all the other times you had those feelings and then when you finally talk about it with your spouse you start bringing up ALL the things… well this is the part where they tell us to ‘stay in the airport’ and deal with one fight at a time）“When Penn said that Kim wasn’t spontaneous， Kim heard， ‘I find you boring and uninteresting’ When Kim brought up how much they were spending on restaurant meals， Penn heard， ‘You aren’t providing for your family。’” （this reminded me a little bit about the distorted cognitive thinking explored in The Coddling of the American Mind book I just read—the ways we interpret what others are saying or doing can have a huge affect on how we relate to people and how we view ourselves。）“When something is bothering you， you might think its’ better to endure in silence， to play the part of the stoic or the martyr。 Choosing that path may sound like you’re being the bigger person， taking the good ol’ high road。 Au contraire… you are compromising your communication。’” （shoot。 so the silent treatment isn’t winning？）“Three of the biggest challenges to good listening habits: distractions， laziness， and interrupting。” （and 100% of distractions are phones， kids， phones， and phones， amiright？）“Strike you statements from your conversations and replaced with I Feel。” （Is it a ‘you statement’ loophole if you say: I feel [this] when you…？） “If I had had my phone on me I would have clicked on a video of some guy who can hit a frisbee with a ping-pong ball from two hundred yards away and I would have gone mentally AWOL。 But instead I was tuned into what Kim was going through。" （Um。 actually I’m just put this one in here because the guy he is referring to is almost absolutely my husband。 PENN: If you’re reading this， I think you should collab with @thatll。work and blow your sports-and-trick-shot-loving mind。 You know… when you’re done being tuned into your wife…）“Then she did that thing that I hate: she asked for specific examples。” （right？！ We need examples but we’re also supposed to forgive and forget…but also we’ll never believe our spouse unless they can prove it…but also we should “keep no record of wrongs”）“A non-kinetic interruption is when you have something you’re so excited to share， you stop listening to what other people are saying while you wait for your chance to say your piece。” （Also me…preparing my point-by-point response or chomping at the bit to share my stupid ‘me too’ stories that I don’t realize hijack the convo。 Whoops。）And probably the most relatable thing contained in the entire book:“We spit out an average of over fifteen thousand words each day。 True， about five thousand of those are a variation on ‘Has anybody seen my phone？’” （for rarely leaving my house I lose my phone a shocking amount of times）I know this is a long review， guys， but can we talk about marriage books for a minute？ If only one person of the married couple reads a marriage book， does it really help anything？ I feel like you have to both WANT to read the book and then read it together so you can actually implement the strategies。 If just I read this book and then I tell Mike in the middle of a fight that he’s doing one of the 3 D’s， he’s not gonna get it。 And when I explain it to him， he’s probably not going to be on board about ‘fixing’ it。 So I think marriage books are best consumed WITH your partner。 This also helps prevent you from reading it and thinking “Oh， such-and-such-my-lover should definitely read this part” （on every page）。 Because let’s be real， our biggest blindspots in life are probably in our marriages。 So I would recommend reading this WITH your spouse。 （Full transparency: I didn’t。 But I should have。） And it’s short and super conversational so it’s not going to be a tedious book， I promise。I think you’ll like it。 （Except for the part where they talk about one of Freud’s theories。 We don’t need to listen to that guy。）One last comment。 They’re self-proclaimed Christians， and they talk about the help they received from their pastor with each fight， but this is not a Bible-based marriage book。 That does not render this book useless by any means—I think there are a lot of good ideas here that I think really would change your marriage if you’re willing to do the work— just know that there is an element of personhood and sin and grace missing from this book that would make a biblical marriage book worthy of your time as well。 （I may update this once I read Paul Tripp’s marriage book next month）In summation: Everybody fights。 If you haven’t yet， you will。 I’m ten years into marriage and I would have said I didn’t need this book the first 7 or so years of our marriage。 But here we are- ten years in， four kids later， living in the age of facebook （I know I’m not cool） and TikTok （I know my husband is） and the ability to binge watch every season of Survivor from any country and our communication is sometimes in the pits。 So read the book and fight more productively。 It’s worth it。Okay。 Two more quotes because they made me laugh。 “I sat the family down and said， ‘can I have one hour…when you agree to pitch in around the house and lighten my load？’ They conferred and decided， Yeah， OK， this is literally the least we can do。”“The shame was all completely in my head。 The person judging me was me。 The call was coming from inside the house， which made it all the more horrifying。” IN。 SIDE。 THE HOUSE。See more of my reviews at shelfreflection。com！**Received an ARC via NetGalley** 。。。more
Allison L
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Inside Everybody Fights， Kim and Penn break down ten of their biggest fights and the lessons which they learned from them。 They continuously remind the reader that they are not licensed therapists and encourage the reader to take the information presented at face value – they are a couple who has been there and has learned from it。 They also advocate for their own marriage counselor who has helped them become stronger through their ups and downs。 One of the messages that I took from them was how Inside Everybody Fights， Kim and Penn break down ten of their biggest fights and the lessons which they learned from them。 They continuously remind the reader that they are not licensed therapists and encourage the reader to take the information presented at face value – they are a couple who has been there and has learned from it。 They also advocate for their own marriage counselor who has helped them become stronger through their ups and downs。 One of the messages that I took from them was how important communication is in a relationship。 Be it verbal communication， body language， tone of voice， actions， or miscommunication， it all has an impact on your relationship and the likeness of a misunderstanding or fight occurring。 And if you are aware of this， you can find a foundation which to work through these miscommunications and come out stronger both as an individual and within the relationship。 Read Full Review Here 。。。more
Mary K。
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“Everybody Fights” is wonderfully delightful， intuitive， and down right funny。 Kim and Penn intimately share their exploits to help others to build stronger relationships。 The book starts out on the premise of helping to improve a marriage relationship through stronger communication， but I soon realized that these same techniques can be used in all relationships we have。 The couple share their points of view， from actual fights they have had， and help to coach us to learn from our own clashes by “Everybody Fights” is wonderfully delightful， intuitive， and down right funny。 Kim and Penn intimately share their exploits to help others to build stronger relationships。 The book starts out on the premise of helping to improve a marriage relationship through stronger communication， but I soon realized that these same techniques can be used in all relationships we have。 The couple share their points of view， from actual fights they have had， and help to coach us to learn from our own clashes by fighting better， kinder， and more honestly。 They humorously dissect the arguments， reviewing them， and giving tips on how to improve and grow from them。 We are given tools such as “magic words” and “rules of war”， to help to guide arguments off a path of potential destruction to a realm of deeper intimacy， understanding and even- friendship。 This book is for everyone。 No matter who you are， you will be able to relate to the various and frequent stresses of life and have that ah-ha moment of a familiar argument。 They had me at “secret contracts”。 This book gives you that feel good feeling and will undoubtedly pump up your optimistic outlook on life and love。 It is well worth the read， and then inevitably a re-read。 。。。more
BreeAnn （She Just Loves Books）
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This book has changed my marriage。 For Real！ I will literally be re-reading this book for a long time。 Each chapter speaks to a different part of your relationship， and it was just amazing！If you are not in a relationship， I STILL think you should read this book。 There’s a chapter on intimate connection， but other than that， I really think this book teaches us how to listen to and interact with humans in general。 Not just the one you’re married to。 I’m using things I’ve learned in this book to b This book has changed my marriage。 For Real！ I will literally be re-reading this book for a long time。 Each chapter speaks to a different part of your relationship， and it was just amazing！If you are not in a relationship， I STILL think you should read this book。 There’s a chapter on intimate connection， but other than that， I really think this book teaches us how to listen to and interact with humans in general。 Not just the one you’re married to。 I’m using things I’ve learned in this book to better communicate with my kids too！I listened to the audio of this book， and I highly， HIGHLY recommend doing the same。 Kim and Penn are absolutely amazing narrators of their book。 It felt like they were just talking to me。 I loved hearing the emotion in their voices during tough conversations and their laughs at fun memories。 It was wonderful！Overall， read this book， listen to this book， just get your hands on this！ It’s completely worth it！I was provided a gifted copy of this book for free。 I am leaving my review voluntarily。 。。。more
Hillary P
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Cheers to Kim and Penn Holderness for using their wit and honesty to write this practical book。 They draw on real-life conflict to lay out clear pathways to help not just marriage， but really any close relationship。 The advice from their marriage coach Christopher is direct yet compassionate， and while a lot of the strategies include leaning into uncomfortable situations， he shows that there is a loving way to resolve fights that， on the other side of the struggle， can create a stronger bond。 I Cheers to Kim and Penn Holderness for using their wit and honesty to write this practical book。 They draw on real-life conflict to lay out clear pathways to help not just marriage， but really any close relationship。 The advice from their marriage coach Christopher is direct yet compassionate， and while a lot of the strategies include leaning into uncomfortable situations， he shows that there is a loving way to resolve fights that， on the other side of the struggle， can create a stronger bond。 I found it the most helpful that each chapter offers a great checklist/action items in grey for quick reference later。 My favorite chapter deals with stonewalling， or the refusal to engage in a fight when there's a problem that should be addressed。 As a person who is terrified of conflict， I had to take a good look at myself and acknowledge that while my marriage is solid， I've definitely been guilty of keeping quiet when I should instead face the discomfort head-on to resolve issues。 I am grateful to be taking so much away from Everybody Fights， and have already started using some of the strategies in my marriage。 Keep up the good work， guys。 Can't wait to see what comes next！ 。。。more
America Grelinger
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Silent treatments， secret contracts and silly bedroom shenanigans！ What marriage cannot relate to moments where the man asks the woman， "Anything wrong？" And she merely replies， "I'm Fine。" The silent treatment starts and the guy knows he needs to say Sorry， but for what？！？！？ The words Thank You and I'm Sorry have so much depth， but after many years of hearing them they lack the finesse needed to maintain the vows of marriage。 With the divorce rate being what it is， learning how to fight with yo Silent treatments， secret contracts and silly bedroom shenanigans！ What marriage cannot relate to moments where the man asks the woman， "Anything wrong？" And she merely replies， "I'm Fine。" The silent treatment starts and the guy knows he needs to say Sorry， but for what？！？！？ The words Thank You and I'm Sorry have so much depth， but after many years of hearing them they lack the finesse needed to maintain the vows of marriage。 With the divorce rate being what it is， learning how to fight with your spouse for the long term was a new concept。 Why fight？ Because the making up with your soulmate， best friend， lover， and the person you love more than the air you breath is worth every bit of the vow you originally made。。。。and this book hones in on how to fight for life with the gloves down and the win is always a tie。During COVID， I feel in love with The Holderness Family。 They gave me joy in a dreary time。 I enjoyed watching how they were on the screen， but when I saw the book it enticed me by the title alone。 How can these fun loving people ever fight？ W。H。A。T？ And then to learn Kim is an introvert？ I was spellbound as I too have a marriage of opposites。 I cannot thank these two crazy kids enough for this book。I loved how Kim and Penn were brutally honest， even about the sexual aspect of their marriage。 And I was surprised， shocked and powerfully moved by these revelations， as I too have struggled with blatant honesty in the bedroom。。。。and to learn the bond we share in the bedroom leads into more intimacy in all aspects of our marriage。 It was not earth shattering knowledge， but it was compelling to learn how after so many years of taking each other for granted we find ourselves locked in rolls， 'secret contracts' and find we aren't as honest as we thought we were。 Dr。 Edmondson， their amazing pastor/counselor/friend had insight into their marriage that I found applicable to my own。 I think a person who has been married for mere months to many years would gain wisdom from this book。 I have received this book through HarperCollins， but have already purchased to give to multiple friends who I think would also benefit from the wisdom within these pages。 。。。more
Diane
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I could not finish this book。 First of all， the formatting of it was terrible。 Secondly， I found it redundant。 I LOVE this family and their videos and fun songs， but this book was not for me。 Thank you to Netgalley。com and the publisher for this ARC in trade for my honest comment。
Sandra Peebles
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I spent a lot of 2020 online， watching these silly music videos of this family dancing around and singing。 I then discovered not everything is Christmas Jammies。 I started reading their blogs and listening to their podcasts。 Then I heard that Kim and Penn Holderness wrote a book。 I KNEW I had to get it！！ This book is aimed at married couples， to help them learn to "fight" the right way。 I am a different audience。 My husband passed away in January 2020。In Everybody Fights， Kim and Penn open up an I spent a lot of 2020 online， watching these silly music videos of this family dancing around and singing。 I then discovered not everything is Christmas Jammies。 I started reading their blogs and listening to their podcasts。 Then I heard that Kim and Penn Holderness wrote a book。 I KNEW I had to get it！！ This book is aimed at married couples， to help them learn to "fight" the right way。 I am a different audience。 My husband passed away in January 2020。In Everybody Fights， Kim and Penn open up and share details about their biggest fights in an almost "he said， she said" format。 We get to see how each of them felt in the situation。 Their counselor also shares his input to help。 When reading this book， I felt like I was sitting down with good friends just talking about life。 Some of the same things they fought about， my husband and I had also。 They let us know what steps they took to resolve the fights。 I'm positive anyone who reads this， can find themselves somewhere in it。My only regret about this book， is that it didn't come out earlier。 This may have helped my husband understand me better， I have ADD and anxiety。 It may have also helped me with a disagreement we had early in our marriage。My husband is no longer by my side， but I can see this book helping me with other relationships in my life。 I highly recommend it to anyone， married or not。 。。。more
Kris Zeller
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So much more than parodies！ :） I stumbled across the Holderness family and their parodies a while ago and I absolutely love them because their content is so relatable。 I think they do a killer job with their videos and they really brighten my day。 I was not however， convinced that their book would be interesting。 Clearly， I was wrong。 This book honestly helped me calm down about my own fifteen year marriage。 Their arguments are so relatable， as are their reactions。 While I don't think all of the So much more than parodies！ :） I stumbled across the Holderness family and their parodies a while ago and I absolutely love them because their content is so relatable。 I think they do a killer job with their videos and they really brighten my day。 I was not however， convinced that their book would be interesting。 Clearly， I was wrong。 This book honestly helped me calm down about my own fifteen year marriage。 Their arguments are so relatable， as are their reactions。 While I don't think all of their pointers are new or eye-opening， I do think it's extremely helpful to see that even the best marriages struggle post-baby and during COIVD and it's really encouraging to read about people being open about it。 We live in a world where people Facebook， Snap and IG every single positive thing they experience but rarely get real about the nitty gritty stuff， and this was such a refreshing perspective！I especially enjoyed the format of a lot of this book-- where Penn tells you what happened and then Kim butts in and tells you what "really" happened， or vice versa。 It really gives you the perspective to understand that you can't assume malintent， people really honestly do see things differently and didn't always mean to send you off into outer space with a dumb comment。 Honestly just truly enjoyable。 I realize I got this copy free but I ordered a signed one anyway。 。。。more
Shawn
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A wonderful book about improving a marriage that might actually have a chance of working。 Penn and Kim （and their kids） are known for their entertaining videos。 This book though， written by Kim & Penn， opens the doors to their private lives。。。 the skeletons are pulled out of the closets。。。 the dirty laundry is aired。。。 and they explain how the struggles of living your life with another person can turn from frustration to fun。 The Holderness' don't pretend to be fonts of knowledge。 What they are A wonderful book about improving a marriage that might actually have a chance of working。 Penn and Kim （and their kids） are known for their entertaining videos。 This book though， written by Kim & Penn， opens the doors to their private lives。。。 the skeletons are pulled out of the closets。。。 the dirty laundry is aired。。。 and they explain how the struggles of living your life with another person can turn from frustration to fun。 The Holderness' don't pretend to be fonts of knowledge。 What they are is a couple who has made it through 16 years together and still loves each other。 They felt admit they had help with this on the form of marriage counseling and this too is a great normalization of therapy which will likely help as many couples as the advice contained in the book itself。 I would recommend this book to literally anyone who is married or planning to become married。 It is simply a recipe book for a better marriage。Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for the opportunity to read a pre-release copy of this book。 。。。more
Caren
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Kim and Penn Holderness have been entertaining families through their creative videos for many years。 They are open and honest as they share their daily lives through relatable， humorous， and， often musical， videos。 A recurring theme has been the challenges they face as a married couple working together。Everybody Fights embraces their same honest， open and humorous approach。 Kim and Penn share the relationship skills they’ve developed through trial and error and with the help of their marriage c Kim and Penn Holderness have been entertaining families through their creative videos for many years。 They are open and honest as they share their daily lives through relatable， humorous， and， often musical， videos。 A recurring theme has been the challenges they face as a married couple working together。Everybody Fights embraces their same honest， open and humorous approach。 Kim and Penn share the relationship skills they’ve developed through trial and error and with the help of their marriage coach。 The advice they provide is helpful， not only for married couples， but for conflict encountered at work， with family and friends。 This book is entertaining， enlightening and educational！ 。。。more
Laura
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It is exactly what we all needed after this past year！ The same charm and humor from Penn and Kim Holderness that we have all fallen in love with online has now moved to book form。 Marriage advice books will never be my go to read， but when I saw that Kim and Penn wrote a book， I knew I had to check it out。 The real life stories， strung together with advice makes you feel like you're having lunch with some old friends you haven't seen in awhile。 They do not claim to be the experts on marriage wh It is exactly what we all needed after this past year！ The same charm and humor from Penn and Kim Holderness that we have all fallen in love with online has now moved to book form。 Marriage advice books will never be my go to read， but when I saw that Kim and Penn wrote a book， I knew I had to check it out。 The real life stories， strung together with advice makes you feel like you're having lunch with some old friends you haven't seen in awhile。 They do not claim to be the experts on marriage which makes the advice valid for so many couples。 The real talk and showing both sides to some of their biggest fights helped me remember there is always another side to this story in my own marriage。 In a time where my husband has been essentially in the same space for 365 days I think we forgot how to communicate effectively and I look forward to putting all the advice into practice for years to come。 。。。more
Katie
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"I received a complimentary copy of this book through NetGalley。 Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own。" I enjoy a good Holderness Family video， but I don't know much about them beyond that。 So， I was intrigued to see what the book would hold。 I think they did a good job of keeping reader interest by sharing personal accounts and real life experiences。 But blending that with advice and tips about how to better communicate。 Really that's what the book boils down to is communicat "I received a complimentary copy of this book through NetGalley。 Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own。" I enjoy a good Holderness Family video， but I don't know much about them beyond that。 So， I was intrigued to see what the book would hold。 I think they did a good job of keeping reader interest by sharing personal accounts and real life experiences。 But blending that with advice and tips about how to better communicate。 Really that's what the book boils down to is communication strategies。 "Fight" is more dramatic， but really it's about communicating。 Overall I think it was well put together。 。。。more
Rachel
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I've loved everything that Kim and Penn have released from videos， to blogs， to podcasts so I was not surprised to love this book！ I was surprised with how much I connected with it though！ When I think of "fighting" I think of a heated exchange which is not how my husband and I operate。 We are both fairly laid back so I was initially wondering how much connection I would have with this book。 There were so many wonderful nuggets of wisdom in it about communication， marriage roles and learning how I've loved everything that Kim and Penn have released from videos， to blogs， to podcasts so I was not surprised to love this book！ I was surprised with how much I connected with it though！ When I think of "fighting" I think of a heated exchange which is not how my husband and I operate。 We are both fairly laid back so I was initially wondering how much connection I would have with this book。 There were so many wonderful nuggets of wisdom in it about communication， marriage roles and learning how to ask for what you want。 While my husband and I will never be "fighters" that doesn't mean we will agree on everything and these tips are invaluable and make me want to work harder to make my relationship with my husband even better than it already is。 The content in this book is delivered in the way only Kim and Penn can deliver it which makes it a very quick and fun read。 I came away feeling pumped and hopeful even with already having a great relationship with my husband。 Way to go guys！ I highly recommend this book to everyone。 While the emphasis is heavy on marriage I think there are many tips in here that can translate to any type of relationship。 。。。more
Shanen Orians
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When goofy， yet hilarious people write a book you have to know your in for an exhilarating ride。 Kim and Penn Hold nothing back， bearing it all for us to read in black and white。 The courage to air your dirty laundry so to say， is truly humbling。 Every chapter divulging us with real arguments they had to and did work through。 I have to admit I was called out on several occasions。。。Thankfully It didn't sting so bad because the humor Kim and Penn add to the book makes it feel like you're not alone When goofy， yet hilarious people write a book you have to know your in for an exhilarating ride。 Kim and Penn Hold nothing back， bearing it all for us to read in black and white。 The courage to air your dirty laundry so to say， is truly humbling。 Every chapter divulging us with real arguments they had to and did work through。 I have to admit I was called out on several occasions。。。Thankfully It didn't sting so bad because the humor Kim and Penn add to the book makes it feel like you're not alone and there are steps you can take to work through those problems。 They even take it a step further by giving clear detailed steps and worksheets you can use to make working through your troubles easier。 Marriage is hard but this book has the potential to make it just a little easier。 。。。more
Amy Dufera - Amy's MM Romance Reviews
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If you know Kim and Penn Holderness from their videos， you will love their new book Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It？ If you don't know who they are， I'm sorry， you're really missing out。 Kim and Penn are known for their humor， and it comes out in spades in this book。 They are open about how they fight and the way therapy has helped them to fight more productively。 The info included isn't all new to me， but damn， this is by far the best way I have ever seen it presented。 It's honest If you know Kim and Penn Holderness from their videos， you will love their new book Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It？ If you don't know who they are， I'm sorry， you're really missing out。 Kim and Penn are known for their humor， and it comes out in spades in this book。 They are open about how they fight and the way therapy has helped them to fight more productively。 The info included isn't all new to me， but damn， this is by far the best way I have ever seen it presented。 It's honest， funny， and completely helpful。 Best of all， it's sound advice offered in a fun， easy to read package。 If you are ever going to read a book about help in your marriage， this is the book to read！As well， I find this book can be helpful and useful for arguments with anyone。 A parent。 A sibling。 A co-worker。 A friend。 Anyone。 Although written for both side of the argument to understand the "better" way to fight， I see that just one person knowing the useful way would be extremely beneficial。 I seriously love this book。 If you're a fan of Kim and Penn， this is a great look at the people behind the video。 Their personalities shine throughout。 They give you an up close look into how they balance their family， marriage， and work lives。 They repeatedly remind the reader that they are not therapists。 But they heavily focus on some of the things that their therapist has taught them that can help all of us。 Basically， it's a much cheaper version of therapy for yourself and it's wonderful。Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It？ is a must read book as far as I'm concerned。 You might not relate to everything that Kim and Penn are saying， but you will definitely learn a thing or two， if not twenty， on a more productive way of fighting and communicating。 And again， if you haven't yet seen the Holderness's videos， do yourself a favor and look them up on You Tube。 Be prepare to binge watch them though as they are hysterical。 Amy's MM Romance ReviewsYou can find me at - https://amysmmromancereviews。blogspot。。。https://www。facebook。com/amysmmromanc。。。https://twitter。com/amydufera2https://www。goodreads。com/user/show/4。。。https://www。pinterest。com/amydufera/m。。。https://www。instagram。com/amysromance。。。 。。。more
Kate R
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Everybody Fights is the Holderness’ debut book。 If you don’t know who the Holderness Family is， they make hilarious， timely music videos on social media。 I am a fan and always wondered how Kim and Penn balanced working and living together。 The main premise of the book is that every married couple fights; you just have to learn to fight correctly。 Look， you are not going to relate to everything in this book but you can certainly take many things with you when you’re done。 The Holderness’ do not c Everybody Fights is the Holderness’ debut book。 If you don’t know who the Holderness Family is， they make hilarious， timely music videos on social media。 I am a fan and always wondered how Kim and Penn balanced working and living together。 The main premise of the book is that every married couple fights; you just have to learn to fight correctly。 Look， you are not going to relate to everything in this book but you can certainly take many things with you when you’re done。 The Holderness’ do not claim to be experts。 They just say what they took from marriage counseling and what worked for them as a couple。 Take with it what you will。 They give us insight into their biggest fights and offer real world examples to help you understand。 I thought it was all very well done。 If you are a fan of the Holderness Family， you should definitely pick this one up。 If you are married， you should put this one in your arsenal of relationship books。 You can easily come back to it at different points in your life and take something else from it。 *I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book。 All thoughts and opinions are my own。 。。。more
Daniel Rose
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I love the Holderness family’s videos online but as a single guy I just feel like this book isn’t for me。 Thanks to NetGalley for the advanced copy。
Steph Carr
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Social media is a place where we make ourselves look better， so it's pretty incredible for some internet celebrities to drop thre curtain and reveal a more realistic look at marriage。 They share both sides of 10 big fights and how they got through it stronger。 It's a funny and relatable read， with strategies you can employ in a variety of relationships to fight better and build stronger connections。 Social media is a place where we make ourselves look better， so it's pretty incredible for some internet celebrities to drop thre curtain and reveal a more realistic look at marriage。 They share both sides of 10 big fights and how they got through it stronger。 It's a funny and relatable read， with strategies you can employ in a variety of relationships to fight better and build stronger connections。 。。。more
Gara
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I was provided an ARC in return for a fair review of this book。I am a big fan of the videos produced by Kim and Penn Holderness， so when I saw that they were releasing a book， I was excited to read it！ The details about previous disagreements the couple had survived were provided in an entertaining way， and each situation was easy to relate to for the readers。 The ability， through counseling， of the authors to learn from their mistakes and move forward to a better relationship， was inspiring。 Th I was provided an ARC in return for a fair review of this book。I am a big fan of the videos produced by Kim and Penn Holderness， so when I saw that they were releasing a book， I was excited to read it！ The details about previous disagreements the couple had survived were provided in an entertaining way， and each situation was easy to relate to for the readers。 The ability， through counseling， of the authors to learn from their mistakes and move forward to a better relationship， was inspiring。 The relationship advice was easily applicable to many situations that might be experienced by married couples， and seemed down to earth and knowledgeable。 Reading this book was like having a cup of coffee and a chat with an understanding friend， and couples of all experience levels could find new and improved methods of communication。 I highly recommend this book。 。。。more
Andrea
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Unfortunately it's going to be a long time before I read the actual book， but I was fortunate to be emailed a preview from Kim and Penn through their email list。 So far I've only read the introduction but it really has me excited for the book。 I'm not sure if the book will be this way， but the introduction that I was emailed has handwritten comments and notes from Penn and Kim。 I admit that it kind of got in the way of my reading the actual words， but they did make me laugh。 I am glad that I fou Unfortunately it's going to be a long time before I read the actual book， but I was fortunate to be emailed a preview from Kim and Penn through their email list。 So far I've only read the introduction but it really has me excited for the book。 I'm not sure if the book will be this way， but the introduction that I was emailed has handwritten comments and notes from Penn and Kim。 I admit that it kind of got in the way of my reading the actual words， but they did make me laugh。 I am glad that I found their videos because someone I know shared one on Facebook。 They have been tremendously comforting during this Pandemic。 As this isn't a real "review"， I will update it after I finish reading the book-which I hope will be very soon！ 。。。more
Whitney Bak
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I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy of this book， which I received courtesy of the publisher。Never has there ever been a year where I craved more strongly the validation that life—and marriage in particular—is hard。 The family shifts， pivots， and adjustments that we've had to deal with in light of the COVID-19 pandemic have resulted in battles big and small， and authors Kim and Penn Holderness have given me the reassurance that it's not just happening in our household。 Beautifully in I had the pleasure of reading an advanced copy of this book， which I received courtesy of the publisher。Never has there ever been a year where I craved more strongly the validation that life—and marriage in particular—is hard。 The family shifts， pivots， and adjustments that we've had to deal with in light of the COVID-19 pandemic have resulted in battles big and small， and authors Kim and Penn Holderness have given me the reassurance that it's not just happening in our household。 Beautifully in touch with not only this current reality many families are facing but also the fact that couples fight through every season and stage， they've written a guide to navigating these standoffs with more love， grace， compassion， understanding， and practical skills to overcome them and—most importantly—stay married。While the Holdernesses are upfront about the fact that they are not doctors or therapists， their stories reveal that they have the number-one qualification needed to write on the topic of marriage: experience， and a willingness to talk about that experience in a raw， open， honest， and laugh-out-loud hilarious way。 Interspersed throughout their stories is golden advice from their pastor/therapist， as well as a number of insightful and trustworthy data points that further illuminate their experiences。 Whether you've been married for less than a year or over fifty， you'll find both timely and timeless truths within the pages of this book。 Better yet， you'll have fun reading—seriously。 I legitimately cry-laughed my way through their oh-too-relatable anecdotes and became an instantaneous fangirl。 My only qualm is that I can't buy a copy for every single married couple I know in time for Christmas this year。 。。。more
Sam Allen
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